STRATEGIES TO HELP KIDS WHO EXPERIENCE WORRY OR ANXIETY

5 Oct 2018

By Alicia Gillett, MSW, RSW

Sometimes it can be hard to know what to do when your child is experiencing anxiety. You might find yourself asking if there are right and wrong ways to respond or if there are things that you might be doing that are making anxiety worse for your child. This blog will outline some of the strategies that you can work on with your child so that both of you can feel empowered to face anxiety head on.

Helping your child develop a feelings vocabulary can be very helpful as this gives them the words to be able to identify and express how they are feeling. You can help them with this by being curious about how they are feeling and/or labelling this for them (“I can see on your face that you may be feeling nervous”). You can also label other’s feelings whether it is a friend or family member or characters in a book or TV show. It is also helpful to explore the different ways that people show how they are feeling i.e. face, body language, words and specifically how your child shows worry/anxiety in their face, body and words. Working on this with your child also gives you the opportunity to acknowledge and accept their feelings by being an active listener (i.e. It sounds like you feel nervous during class discussions and often can’t sit still).

Another great tool for coping with and deescalating anxiety in children is relaxation exercises. Practicing relaxation exercises routinely is a great way to get your child familiar with how to use this tool when they are anxious. One great place to start is to teach them about deep belly breathing. You can make this fun by explaining that when they inhale through their nose for 4 counts, they push that air down to their belly so that it inflates like a balloon, and then they blow out through their mouth for 6 counts, and deflate the balloon in their belly. It can also be fun to place a stuffy on their belly to watch it rise and fall with their in and out breaths. Once you think your child has got the hang of it, you can encourage them to try this when they are anxious. You can first start by helping them to label how they are feeling and then practice some deep belly breathing together.

Modelling brave, non-anxious behaviour as a parent is a great way to teach your child that a situation is not to be feared. Even when you might feel anxious as a parent in certain situations, when little eyes are on you, it is a great opportunity to put on a confident face so that your child can feel assured and more confident themselves. It is also very helpful to encourage brave behaviour from your child. It is common that kids will try to avoid situations that cause them anxiety but by encouraging them to take small, gradual steps towards the anxiety inducing situation, it gives them the chance to prove to themselves that they can do it and there is nothing to be feared. When your child is able to take small steps towards an anxiety provoking situation, this is a great time to reward them with verbal praise or something that makes them feel special (i.e. pick what’s for dinner or a small gift of their choosing from the dollar store).

I hope that these strategies help you and your child feel more confident in your ability to deal with anxiety when it comes up. If you find that you have lingering questions or would like to build additional strategies, please feel free to book a complimentary session with me so that we can discuss this further.