TIPS FOR DAY-TO-DAY PARENTING THAT CAN HELP TO REDUCE CHILDREN’S ANXIETY

29 Sep 2018

By Alicia Gillett, MSW, RSW

If you have come to understand that your child is experiencing some worry/anxiety, there are a number of helpful ideas to consider implementing in your day to day parenting.

Firstly, routines and structure are extremely important for kids who are faced with anxiety. It can be very helpful to establish consistent daily routines such as what happens in the morning before they get off to school i.e. standard wake-up time, cuddles with parent, make the bed, have breakfast, etc. After school and evening routines that are consistent also help to create predictability for kids and reduce the chaos that can sometimes ensue after a long day at school and work. Bedtime for kids with anxiety can also present many challenges as they might have a hard time settling or their fears/worries may begin to increase. Creating a routine that is conducive to unwinding and relaxing can make for a smoother transition. Establishing these routines helps to give a sense of control and predictability that can benefit both parents and kids.

Secondly, having firm boundaries, limits and consequences that are consistent can help a child with anxiety feel more safe and secure. This can also help to prevent avoidance and refusal behaviours that often go hand in hand with anxiety. Although at times kids may balk at limits and rules, they ultimately send the message that they can rely on parents. When there are no limits, kids may try to be in control, which is not something they are able to cope with and can in turn increase anxiety.

Thirdly, at times parents can inadvertently parent in ways that can cause anxiety in their kid(s). As a parent, you care deeply about your child’s safety and well-being but sometimes this can be communicated in a way that makes the world seem like a scary and unpredictable place. On the other hand, you might have anxiety that doesn’t tend to centre around your child but shows up in your actions and words. Children are of course very sensitive and attuned to their parents feelings and can easily pick up on cues that something isn’t right or there is something to be feared. Just simply increasing your awareness of your own anxious feelings and actions when around your kid(s) can be the small shift that is needed to help guide you to a more calm and confident demeanour.

If you feel like it would be helpful to discuss some of these tips further, please feel free to book a free 30 minute complimentary session where we can delve into these ideas further. You might also find my next blog post helpful where I discuss strategies that parents can teach their kids to help them cope with anxiety.